The Real World Cup

So you may have grasped that I think it is pretty unfair that Blatter(dick) has decided that the European playoffs have to be seeded. You may think this is because of a natural soft spot for former Yugoslav countries, having spenth a month or two there last year I thus really really really want Slovenia and Bosnia & Herzegovina to qualify. You would probably be right of course, but even from a purely unbiased, totally sporting point of view it really dosen't seem fair to seed teams to start of with, then seed them again halfway through, having previously said you wouldn't. Jeez Sepp.

So Slovenia, having allready finished above two teams seeded higher than them in the group, see that count for nothing, and could face Portugal or France, two teams who finished behind lesser seeds, and yet will be seeded for the playoffs. It is just FIFA and Blatter dicking around so that the most marketable players can reach the world cup. Bunch of dicks.

So I had no choice but to take matters into my own hands, and drawn the playoffs myself. Completely unseeded. I may as well claim this is how the draw should have been. It is how FIFA said it would be. So, with additional comentary, I present to you, the draw for the World Cup Playoffs:

France vs. Russia - Woah. Big game. This would be undenaiably awesome over two legs. Every fan of football would agree no? I mean come on. How sweet. My money would be on France to shade it. Ribery scoring a wondergoal in the dying minutes at St. Denis to send France to the party. But it can never happen. This seems proof to me that FIFA have, to borrow from you Gianni, ruined football. This would rule.

Greece vs. Bosnia & Herzegovina - So this is actually an unseeded team vs. a seeded one. It could actually happen kids. Being honest, I think Greece, or maybee France, are the unseeded teams best chance of getting through. Greece came through a pretty easy group and France seem capable of throwing anything away when Domenech is calling the shots. I'd like to hope Bosnia could hold Greece in Athens, before winning infront of what would be an amazing atmosphere at Bilino Polje. Besides, no one wants to have to watch Greece go all '04 on us again right?

Ireland vs. Portugal - So again, another 'could happen' fixture. This would be such a sweet tie aswell. It would be undenaiably awesome seeing the Republic go up against Ronaldo and Co, especially at Croke Park. After the result against Italy, it shouldn't be impossible for the Irish.

Slovenia vs. Ukraine - Okay, I admit, there might not be much in this for the neatrals, but there are a whole lot of eastern Europeans who would certainly give a damn. The difference between Ukraine's ginormous stadium in Kiev, and Slovenia's teeny weeny one in Maribor would be a pretty cool contrast. And I reckon boths teams would fancy there chances. And lets be honest, it is the little guys who make the world cups.

So there you go. THIS IS THE TRUTH, THIS IS HOW IT SHOULD BE FIFA. And come on, this would be way better no?

This Could Rule

International week next week you know. A super huge international week at that. England are allready there so only a fool would pay attention to something other than Sky's premiership superleague. WRONG. Yes 'we' are there and I am quite happy about it, allthough I probably would have prefered Croatia to have the automatic spot, so England could get caught up in some playoff madness.

So how is the World Cup shaping up. Lets go through who is allready there. England are in. I am kind of excited about how we do. Maybee it is Defoe's time to shine and Young & Milner are exciting enough. The presence of Heskey and James should bring some hilarity to the table. The Netherlands should be glorious in the groups, then go out in some hilariously bad tempered afair, perhaps ending with penalties. Spain won't win, they lost at Soccer last summer.

Brazil's presence should be cool as will Paraguays. Not quite as good as the glory days of Chilavert, allthough I would like to hope he will be involved with the team in some way, perhaps sensationally becoming the first sporting director to score in the World Cup. Aisan teams are pretty much sorted and both Korea's are there. Both! South Korea I will allways love, after they won me eight quid eight long years ago. But North Korea? They play football there? How much does everyone want them to be drawn with Italy. And yeah, Ghana are in. The Black Stars ain't a great nickname by African standards but it is pretty sweet in a world wide context, and they where the best African team last time round.

The excitement of next weekend is due to the teams that could yet still qualify however (Duh!). I am probably most excited about Bosnia's games against Estonia and Spain (stay with me). Bosnia have some exciting players. Everyone knows Dzeko after last wednesday, but Misimovic, Ibsevic and Muslimovic are a few other names in an exciting team. They have never qualified as an independant country, and hopefully Blatter's (dick) sell out play off seedings will not ruin the dream. Imagine if they got Serbia or Croatia in the Playoffs though? I really hope they can make it.

Croatia should secure a play off spot, and I really hope they make it through. By far the team of Euro 2008. Hopefully Germany and Joachim Low (3rd sexiest manager in football) send Russia into they playoffs and the Azzurri should secure top spot in group 8. Why Lippi leaves out Cassano, his super stylish speedo, pie loving and Sampdoria-dragging-to-the-top-of-serieA ways is beyond me though. Italy could have one of the most exciting squads in South Africa if Lippi will drop some of the old guard. CoughCamourinesi.

Groups 2 & 3 seem to have few big teams, hence Slovakia all but guarenteed a place, and Northern Ireland still being in the hunt. I mean, what the hell? Greece? Switzerland? Sheesh.

And so to the France/Portugal situation. France are not as good as Serbia at the minute (Go Eastern Bloc!) but Ribery's gallic magic will see em through, and I hope that Denmark and Sweeden put Portugal out in Euro 2004 stylee so that Blatter (dick) and his stupid seedings don't get Team Ronaldo a place. Big weekend in Europe then, all I need is for someone to fill me in on how the 9 second place teams into 8 playoff spots things work and we are good.

And so to South America. Argentina play Peru and then put it on the line against Uruguay. I so hope they get in. Tevez, Aguero and Messi coached by Maradonna is so so so awesomely rad that i would cry if they missed out. They should get in ahead of Uruguay and Ecuador on passion and super skilled tiny attackers value alone, and i don't reckon a playoff against New Zealand, Honduras, Bahrain or like Shrewsbury or something, would be the end of the road. They have to make it through.

And so finally what of Chile. Guarenteed a place pretty much, allthough I couldn't name a player I don't think. Is Salas still involved? Allready they are my dark horse for the tournament.

Oh God next June is going to rule so hard.

Radetto Team of the Time #1

''Holy cow, A regular feature!'' I hear you cry. Think of it as more of an irregular but not to freaky feature, like a third nipple (One time I saw a dude with three nipples shake a dude with four nipples hand, via two dislocated shoulders. No Shit).

So yeah, I guess this is kind of like team of the week, except not weekly, and I can't guarentee eleven players to be honest. Maybee some kind of five a side thing. Allthough I would pick five keepers if nessecery. Anyways, here it the FIRST EVER RADETTO DELLA SPORT TEAM OF THE TIME!!!

1. Ilker Casillas. So Real Madrid lost, no sympathy there, but Casillas pulled of one of the greatest saves ever. Seriously. This is up there with Toldo 2000. One of Ilker's or any other keepers finest works. And he came from the academy. There is a lesson in this somewhere.


2. Frank Ribery. So I had better put this out there. I am pretty much in love with Frank Ribery. He couldn't be more gallic if he played with a beret and celebrated by waving a baguette. Anyone who crashes the team bus as a hilarious joke, and hangs out with the pink panther is pretty cool no? Plus he tried to score the greatest goal ever against Juve midweek but totally bottled it on the final touch. Super Rad. It is after 50 seconds:


3. Simon Rolfes. Woah, a Bayer Leverkusen revival is allways welcome. Feels to me like their fans must have been through more heartbrake than any other. Going to put my neck on the block and say they are my tip for the Bundesliga. Big Call seen as everyone knows they will finish second.

4. Sepp Blatter. Ironic call up for yet another attempt to dick over international football. If you say the play offs are unseeded then keep it that way. Don't shit your pants and seed it just to guarentee Ronaldo will be at the tournament. What a dickweed.

5 - 16. I am going to give the remaining positions, and fill the subs bench with the Arsenal first choice eleven. Pretty special no?